Daily postings on this blog may seem a little spasmodic recently. I do compose my daily post but some days it never quite makes it into the blog itself. I didn’t want you to think I’d gone short on inspiration just the time to capture it.
I often wonder I don’t know how I ever found time to work full time? The truth is that not everything got done then either. Now it’s just my priorities have changed. What hasn’t changed is that uncomfortable feeling I have when I don’t get everything done that’s needed nor in the way that gives an outstanding result every time.
It’s the perfectionist tendencies in my coming out. It’s been a constant battle in my adult life.
It’s a natural conflict that I’ve come to the conclusion there is no point trying to reconcile. The eternal truth is that there are so many things I want to achieve and without superhuman powers or an army of employees I’m just going to have to make choices and learn to live with them.
Take the duck in the picture above. What you can’t see is that there was no way to the green pasture without walking through the mud. This duck agonised about the prospect and made a few feeble attempts to cross the mud each time coming back to the road. Eventually she decide that if she was going to get to the grass and her other duck friends she was simply going to have to take the plunge and get muddy in the process.
I think for me it’s both the getting muddy (wet and yucky) and when the mud sticks that gets me down. My inner coach works overtime every day to try and minimise the stickiness of the mud and the achiever in me is always looking for ways of crossing the muddy patch without sinking in. It’s a natural tension that can be exhausting.
When it gets too overwhelming I head off with the dogs for a walk. Nothing better than a way to clear your mind and start again with some new thinking. There are always lots of things to look for which are a useful distraction too.
Here’s the water torrent in the river, the result of all the rain we’ve been having.
The rivers were up, fast and very murky – and I’m sure they were very cold too!
The natural beauty that surrounds where live never ceases to inspire, calm and ground me.
The perfect antidote to natural tension, perfectionism or the other myriad of human frailties. All I need now is the sun to come out and I’ll be at true peace with myself and the world.
Wishful thinking folks!