Three years ago I had too much time on my hands and set up this blog.  I had no idea then how much a part of my daily routine it would become. When I look back at my very first post I see someone who was a bit lost, a bit lonely and a bit scared.  I also see someone who felt a deep need to justify why she had enough time on her hands to keep a blog.

The big question I was asking myself at that time was whether the life I was living was the life I dreamed of?

That’s a question that still lingers in my mind and has been a point of focus for many discussions in recent weeks.  It’s not like we haven’t gone a big way to achieving what we set out to do by coming to New Zealand.  The big question now in my mind is – so what’s next?

Now don’t all shout at once!  I know my friends and family might say, here she goes again.  Not content with what she’s got.  On the contrary. It’s because I’m content with what I’ve got that it’s time to test myself again.

I took this picture on Saturday morning – there was a slight shower of rain.  I’d just planted out more cabbages, broccoli and cauliflower in the potager.  In that moment I felt a warm glow.  It may just have been I was wearing too many layers of clothing but I rather think it was that glow of contentment that sometimes I forget to enjoy.

Usually I’m too busy doing to think about how I’m being.

The potager is now officially full.  No more room for any more vegetables to grow.  All being well we’ll be well stocked for vegetables through the winter and early Spring.  My only fear is that my neighbours will benefit most as things are ready to harvest just as we leave the country to head to the northern hemisphere.

There is something deeply satisfying about looking at this bok choi.  Its structure, it’s colour and the knowledge that its packed full of goodness we’ve yet to enjoy.

This cabbage is going to be eaten on Sunday with our Sunday roast.  There is something much more satisfying knowing that it came from our backyard.

There’s more where that came from.  Here’s a shot of a savoy cabbage plant that’s just gone in the ground.  I like the fact that this isn’t a perfect plant – that yellowing leaf symbolises nature in reality.  Unstyled and just as it is.  I’m learning celebrate such imperfection in a way that other gardeners may not.

This cabbage is certainly not a perfect vegetable specimen.  But I don’t mind.  It was lit up momentarily by the sun and life the rainbow gave me a comforting glow.

So where is this post heading you might be wondering.

In essence it’s to say that after three years we’re pretty much achieved the dream.  Or some people would think.  One of my friends said the other day:

From the outside, you seem to have the life you dreamed of ….so what’s missing?

It’s this question that’s been occupying my mind for a few weeks now but the rainbow over the potager I finally worked it out.

And the answer?

I’ve been having one of those dreams where there is never an ending. You keep having it but it always stops at the same point.  It’s time to start a new dream.

I came to New Zealand with  a dream to buy land, build a house, run a business from home and live off the land as much as we could. We’ve certainly ticked off the first three things and started to tackle the third.  The conflicts that is still within me is that I’m a Domestic Executive and I need to become a Domestic Domestic Executive.

In other words, I need to unshackled the executive elements from the corporate world once and for all.  How and I going to do this?

I’m off for a spot of day dreaming and when I’ve got a new ending I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, you might want to check out This New Zealand Life.  A new blog that chronicles life from an expatriots perspective.  Snout around and you might find yours truly’s day dreaming mentioned.

SNAPSHOTS FROM:

One year ago: A beautiful day for a walk

Three years ago: Was this the life I dreamed of?